The wolf Within
One evening an old Cherokee grandfather told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside people.
He said, "My son, the battle is between two wolves inside us all"
"It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves. One is evil - he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego." He continued, "The other is good - he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith. The same fight is going on inside you - and inside every other person, too."
The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, "Which wolf will win?"
The old Cherokee grandfather simply replied, "The one you feed"
The above parable illustrates how what we consume, consumes us too.
From social media to the news, what we read and watch can integrate into our brain and shift our mindset on how we perceive the world. Anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego develop when the amygdala section in the brain is firing with fear. Those “evil” thoughts and feelings show up without even trying. It just happens. And most of the time, we don’t even realize it's happening. Then we end up going through our day making decisions based on those thoughts and feelings.
Sometimes, we even try to have meaningful conversations or give and receive feedback during those times that we are operating from a place of fear. Then guess what ends up happening? Misunderstandings, people get frustrated with each other and even avoid conversation altogether. Actually, we can pick any one of those feelings from the aforementioned list and that’s what that other person will feel as well when we are engaging with another. When we operate from a place of anger, we receive more anger.
On the other hand, the opposite is also true. From the “good” wolf in the parable, when we operate from a place of joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith, we receive the same in return. And this side takes work. It takes self awareness and willingness to be the change we wish to see in the world. The easier way is to be the “evil” one.
Self - Awareness
First and foremost, acknowledging that self awareness is a practice and takes time to develop the skills and tools needed to be more self aware. Noticing how we feel and our thoughts are instrumental in being self aware. Asking ourselves some key questions to help us process our thoughts and feelings is the best way to understand and to be more aware and understood. One question my mentor, Emmy award winning Rhonda Britten, always likes to use is “Do I know this to be completely true, or could it be possible that I might be making up this scenario?” In coaching, we tend to use this question when we hear ourselves assuming someone else’s thoughts and feelings.
Another great question to use when practicing self awareness is to ask ourselves, “what am I feeling right now in this moment?” Acknowledging and to be present with what we’re feeling is a way to understand ourselves so that we can articulate authentically. Then we can choose from a place of understanding to another once we understand ourselves.
Willingness
Being willing is a conscious decision to be ready to shift your mindset. When watching the news, social media, etc, our brain picks up on the fear and holds onto it. To shift our brain from fear to freedom, we have to be willing to make that conscious decision so that what we just consumed will not consume us.
Being willing to feed the "good' is the antidote to the "evil".
Which one are you feeding? Which one do you encourage your team to feed?
