Spinning Plates
I'm an instructor at the Enlisted Professional Military Education Instructor Course in Gunter-Annex, Alabama, to set the stage. Our job is to help newly selected Enlisted Professional Military Educators learn their new craft. We focus on questioning techniques, active and critical listening skills, and sharpening their verbals and non-verbals, to name a few. For the past eight months, we've had the month of August circled on our calendars.
For the past two years, the month of August has been a brutal workload. We graduated from a class at the beginning of the month. During this class, the Cadre and I also attended an Instructional System Design course while planning an upcoming Air Force Sergeants Association conference in San Antonio. I also had to squeeze in an appointment for what ended up being a slightly torn bicep tendon. I also have the most important job, my family, at home. Looking back, it was quite an experience. The class graduated, we completed our course, and after some canceled flights, lost luggage, and perhaps the sketchiest taxi ride I've ever encountered, we made it to San Antonio.
People kept coming to me saying, "You must be exhausted?" or "I know you're tired!" they had no idea. The conference was a great success. My coworker and I flew back side by side on the plane, talking about how much we were ready for our upcoming leave. We get back, and I get really sick while celebrating my 15th wedding anniversary. Any and everyone around me advised me, don't do anything for the next few days. Hearing that drove me crazy. My mind was racing, and I felt like I had so many things to knock out. Even though I was sitting on a plane two days before talking about how much I couldn't wait to enjoy my leave, I knew I still had so many things to do. Why couldn't I relax? Have you been in this situation?
I've talked to countless people about this mindset. Do we feel the need to be productive at the expense of our families and ourselves? Retired Chief Master Sergeant of the Air Force #5 Bob Gaylor once told me, that our lives resemble the man at the halftime show of an NBA game. He starts spinning a plate on a stick. The crowd applauds. He then has two sticks with two spinning plates. Eventually, he has eight sticks positioned on him with eight spinning plates. The crowd applauds because this is an impressive feat. But what Chief Gaylor said next really stuck with me, "We drop the plates that matter the most to us." Me, I've been guilty of this by dropping my plate, which signifies my health. I've dropped the dish that represents my family, but guess what? I had six other plates spinning, and people applauded. What happens when the applause dies?
Have you been guilty of dropping the wrong plates for the roar of a crowd? Sometimes we can't replace those plates. "But it's my job! I have to do this! It's a good opportunity! It's my career!" We tend to focus more on what can benefit us externally than seeing who we're impacting or losing. I spent thirteen years of my career subconsciously chasing the crowd's approval based on past traumas, but that's for a different article. I nearly lost the things, the people that were closest to me. When will each of us see that the naïve realism of perfection doesn't exist? With a robust support system, a loving wife, the best daughter a dad could ask for, and an incredible team combined with taking time for some self-reflection. I've learned to re-prioritize my daily focus. I've done so by giving time back to myself. This past week I've slowed down and told myself it's alright to relax. After all, I needed some recharge.
Just remember, it's not how much we take on; it's how we do it. Your legacy is what you invest in others. Our actions and emotions define us. People rarely remember the intellectual competence or bullets you complete for the year; I barely remember my own. Don't get me wrong, work your ass off and be the best professional version of yourself that you can be. Don't lose sight of what's important to you by trying to send a crowd home happy.
