How Money Almost Killed Me
For the past 13 years, I served as a Navy Explosive Ordnance Disposal Operator, or EOD for short. Our mission was the protection of personnel and property, and I had the honor of serving that mission for those 13 years, on five overseas tours, to three continents and seven countries. I delivered counter-improvised explosive device (IED) expertise to Special Forces teams during all phases of multifarious combat missions around the globe.
I know what it's like to live and serve for a purpose because I lived and served for a purpose. I had an excellent job and an incredible lifestyle. My Teammates were more than friends; they were family. I had the ultimate reality of living and serving for what I believed in. I had the sacred opportunity to go fight for what I believed in; For what all servicemembers, active and veteran, rose our right hands to do.
Unfortunately, I also know how to dilute purpose with meaningless distractions. For me, those distractions were financial irresponsibility, carelessness, and ignorance, which led me to barely surviving for a paycheck, rather than LIVING to serve my purpose.
I used to take the expression “Carpe Diem” to the next level. Whether you’re a Latin scholar and you can teach me the depths of this phrase’s etymology, or you have no idea what it means, I’m going to take a moment to dig into the root of the expression. Carpe diem, Latin for what is commonly understood today as “seize the day” was a phrase frequently used by the Roman poet Horace to express the idea that “one should enjoy life while one can.” Carpe diem is part of Horace’s injunction “carpe diem quam minimum credula postero,” which can be translated literally as “pluck the day, trusting as little as possible in the next one.”
So again, I used to take the expression “Carpe Diem” to the next level. I had a big new truck, ate at all the best restaurants, and was on a first name basis with most of the bartenders, wherever I went. My clothes were new, and my social status seemed to be climbing. I was a young military guy with money I couldn’t spend fast enough! I remember going out on a Saturday night with about 10 of my buddies. We would walk into whichever bar, and I would typically get things going by ordering 20 shots of whatever we were into at the time. Yes, I said 20 and I know there was only 10 of us. As a communication and relationship building expert, I can assure you the best way to knock down a barrier is to buy everyone around you a drink. I don’t necessarily recommend this method as it is bad for your health AND wallet. However, I will admit it is highly effective, at least it was for me… at first. Little did I know, I was laying the groundwork to potentially destroy everything I worked for and cared deeply about.
Money almost killed me. Finances are the root cause of stress and anxiety for many people, causing bombs to explode and destroy every aspect of their lives. 78% of Americans are living paycheck to paycheck, and I used to be one of them.
I began to lose myself and my mindset slipped down one of the slipperiest slopes there is, lined with justifying my toxic behavior, spending money, eating, and drinking to numb myself from some of the harsh realities that I was up against. Living for the here and now because I didn’t know for sure that when I kept leaving for Afghanistan if I would ever make it back. I fully embodied Horace’s recommendation, “Carpe diem, quam minimum credula postero,” “Seize the day, trusting as little as possible in the next one.”
It never dawned on me how exceptionally shortsighted this mindset was. This belief was toxic for me and sent horrible signals to everyone I loved. I didn’t think about how justifying partying and getting blackout drunk because I might get killed on deployment to my girlfriend at the time, affected her, physically, mentally, and emotionally. I didn’t think about the financial repercussions of my frivolous, and careless spending, and I certainly was not self-aware of just how much of my own subconscious was being consumed by my personal finance nightmare.
I was highly trained to face enemies that were cunning, elusive, and hard to pin down. I was highly trained to face an enemy that was seemingly invisible, the concealed Improvised Explosive Device (IED). However, I was NOT educated in how to identify the threats in my personal life, particularly my financial life that had the potential to blow up in my face.
I wasn't living within my means, and I wasn't saving. I wasn't investing in retirement, and I wasn't planning. I was anxiously waiting for my paychecks to come in. There was no plan, no momentum, and no freedom. I had massive debt growing faster every month. I was among the 78% of Americans living paycheck to paycheck, and the scariest part of the whole thing was - I DIDN'T EVEN REALIZE how much attention my finance nightmare was taking up. I DIDN'T REALIZE it was the cause of my relationships blowing up all around me. I DIDN'T EVEN REALIZE how this negatively affected every aspect of my life, including my work. So, I will reiterate: My personal finance nightmare almost killed me. Even worse, it almost killed my teammates.
We were on a dismounted patrol (on foot, no vehicles) in Afghanistan. It was the middle of the day, and all eyes were on us. We had been hammering the local terrorists' organizations by night, so I'm positive they were more than thrilled when the word spread, that we were out during the day. My EOD Teammate was working on what he thought was an IED near a foot bridge we needed to cross. Another teammate and I took up a supporting position providing security, and cover fire if the situation became dynamic (i.e., if people started shooting at us). After about 40 minutes of distractedly standing around, talking about what we were going to do next in the mission, and devolving to talking about if our pays were coming through on time and were correct, an undetected detonation went off about 30m behind us. Fortunately, the explosives were degraded, and no one got hit. As I was conducting a post-blast analysis of the explosion site, one of the local police on patrol with us said he got intelligence there was a secondary IED close by to where we were. The location he pointed out was six feet away from where my teammate and I had been standing for the past 45 minutes. I cleared the area, and yes, there was an IED set up ready to rock, exactly where he said it was.
Based on the type and size of this IED, my buddy & I 100% would have been killed if it had gone off, and the rest of the team behind us would have been, at a minimum, severely wounded. The IED was set to blow up when the triggerman called the cell phone attached to it. Therefore, it required immediate action. I dropped to a knee, went hands-on, and rendered the IED safe. Afterward, I stared for what seemed like an eternity at the phone I disconnected from the now safe IED. The screen display read "4 Missed Calls." This thing almost killed my teammates and me four times because I was too distracted to do my job correctly.
Perhaps some of you are thinking, “well I’ve never been in a combat situation, or was face to face with an IED.” I want you to consider that again. Chances are you’ve been in combat situations just like this in your personal lives, possibly even daily. We go to war at home, at work, building our businesses, in our relationships with our kids, spouses, parents, friends, bosses, employees, our teammates, whoever we genuinely value. These relationships that are so immensely important – where people trust you, where they rely on you, sometimes with their lives, are ticking timebombs just waiting to blow up in your face when you least expect it – if you’re not paying attention. They absolutely did in mine.
The awareness of the undetected bombs in my wallet having so much control over me led me to realize that my inattention almost cost me everything. It was time to face reality. I was now serving for a paycheck, not my purpose, and I was a SLAVE to my own choices and behavior.
That defining moment changed my life. I needed to CHANGE my behavior to take control of my money and reclaim my FREEDOM. What I then realized was I, unfortunately was not the exception. I was the standard. Common sense behavior was not common practice, not by a long shot. As an EOD Operator, my purpose was to save people’s lives from literal bombs. After the incident in Afghanistan, and after disabling the figurative bombs in my own pocket – I found the same purpose post military service.
Finances are the root cause of stress and anxiety for many people, causing bombs to explode and destroy every aspect of their lives. Far too often, this reality holds them back from living for legacy, and serving their given purpose. Our brothers and sisters, our moms and dads, our teammates and leaders, our communities, and our Nation, are then reduced to struggling, surviving each day merely to collect a paycheck. I serve to empower professionals who make good money yet constantly stress about where it all goes by eradicating these underlying financial problems and coaching the mindset, tools, and methods that will enable and inspire you to take charge of your last name, control your money, and find your freedom. These are the very same guidelines that saved - my - life, helped me regain control, and now empower me to live for legacy, freedom, and impact, every day!
This newfound freedom and ability to invest in YOUR last name has immeasurable and limitless potential to grow meaningful wealth and an incredible legacy. You can get started today by simply implementing the following behavior modifications:
1. Create a written Zero-Based Budget (Paper or digital, doesn’t matter, just do it!)
2. Track your expenses EVERY. DAY. Every time you spend money or receive an email/text/whatever automated process you have set up, take out your budget, and record the transactions when they happen!
3. Cut the non-essentials from your life and focus your intentionality and money to the things consistent with your values.
John Maxwell has said, “You cannot make a difference or change your world in a positive way unless you build everything you do on good values." Throughout my life I learned that I value protecting those who otherwise can't defend themselves. I’ve had the privilege to serve my purpose during my military career, and after I almost lost everything, I’m fortunate to serve that same purpose today by walking with professionals who are broken, just like I was, and helping them find and serve their purpose, build legacies, and live with true freedom! I’m happy to report that I now embody Horace’s sentiment of enjoying life to the fullest, in a truly meaningful way, and my girlfriend from my story is now my wife and we have two amazing sons.
I challenge you, to take a deep introspective look and ask the question: "Are you building everything you do on purpose and on good values?"
