Are You An Imposter?

Finally, all the hard work has paid off and you got a seat at the table; the Big Leagues, The Show…the place where all the important decisions are made. The table is rounded by section heads with varying levels of expertise, from young subject matter experts to seasoned managers with more years on the job than you have in age.  As a leader within this team, it can be quite intimidating.  In fact, you might even begin to question if you belong there, or worse yet…if you’re an imposter.

Most times, you’ll be disappointed with the level of excitement that happens at these tables, but other times your leadership abilities will be tested. As leaders, we count on experts to provide us with facts so that we can determine the best course of action; so that we can make sound decisions.  Easy right? Well…my experiences say not so much.  You see, experts while valuable members of any successful team, tend to speak as if the leaders they’re briefing are also experts. 

Although you might be presented with matters that you are familiar with, the reality is that, the farther your position is from actually doing the job, you less you know about the intricacies of the process.  That said, you might come across a meeting or two in which you have no idea what the briefer is talking about.  The problem isn’t that you don’t understand the briefing, it’s when we don’t speak up to get clarification for fear of being exposed as an imposter. 

Psychology Today highlights that people who struggle with imposter syndrome believe that they are undeserving of their achievements and the high esteem in which they are regarded. They feel that they aren’t as competent or intelligent as others might think. If you’ve ever felt this way, you’re not alone, as Psychology Today also explains that about 70% of adults have experienced imposter syndrome at least once in their life.

Understating that we’re not alone when it comes to feeling inept or just not being good enough is definitely reassuring.  However, for me, self-doubt is not a onetime deal. It’s the resistance I feel every time I force myself to the gym in the morning, it’s the second guessing that might take place when confronted with a complicated scenario.  Throughout my journey, I’ve gotten good at quieting the voice of self-doubt by implementing the following tactics:

·       Humility serves us better than proud ignorance

·       Get comfortable with being uncomfortable

·       The only competition in the room is with yourself

Humility serves us better than proud ignorance

Let’s flash back to the meeting in which we have idea on what we’re being briefed on.  At that moment, we have several options: ask for clarification or sit in silence and nod in approval like we actually know what’s going on.  For fear of looking like an imposter in front of peers and supervisors, I’ve been the one to nod my head (on several occasions).  In most instances in which I decided to nod, the aftermath was usually the same.  I would go through entire meetings trying to figure out confusing data and worst of all, I wasn’t able to offer any insight to help the team.  Sitting in silence is really conceding to one’s ego and is the opposite of leadership.  The fact of the matter is, if you don’t understand something it’s very likely that others don’t as well.  As leaders it’s critical for us to speak up.  Not only does it improve your decision making but it also displays a vulnerability that can enhance your credibility.

Get comfortable with being uncomfortable.

Leadership is uncomfortable (or at least it should be). It puts us in positions that stretches us, that challenges our status quo and requires us to change our modus operandi.  Within leadership, there’s almost nothing more certain than failure…and that’s okay.  It’s okay that you’re not always going to make the right decision or find the best solution.  You’re not an imposter, you’re a leader! Because the leadership environment is uncomfortable, I strive to get comfortable in uncomfortable positions. This involves me sustaining a certain level of stress in my life to include leading large projects, intense physical activity, and volunteering within my community.  Being successful in these endeavors keeps me sharp and helps build the confidence I need to overcome almost any leadership challenge.

The only competition in the room is with yourself

UCLA’s infamous basketball coach John Wooden, professes that “the best competition I have is against myself to become better.” In a competitive environment, it’s hard not to get caught up in the awards race and infatuation of getting promoted. At times, there seems to be too much focus on extrinsic results and not enough on the intrinsic growth & development of our character. That said, there’s certainly nothing wrong with wanting recognition for a job well done or earning a promotion. The problem arises when we start to view our colleagues as competitors and not teammates. Overly competitive environments have adverse side effects such as withholding information and to this articles’ point, apprehension of making mistakes amongst teammates.  Competing with yourself eliminates the “keeping up with the Jones’” aspect. It shines a light to a path that is meaningful and aligned with our values & priorities. When we embrace that we’re really only competing with ourselves, we’re more likely to share our challenges and foster trusting relationships.  

Although, imposter syndrome is not an actual disorder, there is no shortage of studies that detail how self-doubt can override our life’s achievements.As with any situation in life, we make choices, and our choices determine the outcome.We get to choose how we overcome adversity, self-doubt, and failure. In fact, it is how wedefyour insecurities that shapes our personalities and how weovercomefailure that fortifies our resiliency.So next time, they look to you for your opinion and you’re not sure about a few details…say so—because your team is relying on you.