The Power of Apology
I’m Sorry...
This phrase, just two words, and only 3 syllables, is often the least spoken by someone in a position of leadership. Too often, as leaders we feel the need to present ourselves as invincible and infallible. We may never, if rarely, speak these words.
There may be a few reasons for this. Maybe it’s our belief that if we are seen as less than perfect, we run the risk of having our credibility questioned. Possibly it’s because we aren’t courageous enough to look someone in the face and acknowledge our shortcomings. There’s also a good chance that we might be so caught up in our own progress and forward movement, we don’t even realize that we might be negatively impacting others.
As a leader, the mistakes you make never just affect you. There is ALWAYS a trickle-down effect that comes as a result of your poor decisions, slip ups, and negative behaviors. When a leader drops the ball, they run the risk of compromising the organization’s mission, disrupting the harmony of a team, and fracturing relationships, especially with those who are subordinate to them.
Saying I’m Sorry, owning up to your mistakes, and being accountable for your actions is truly an exercise in growth. Once you allow yourself to utter those words a realm of positive outcomes become possible.
Here’s what learning to say I’m Sorry does for you:
It demonstrates humility.
As leaders, we should want nothing more from our followers than their respect and support. When we demonstrate humility, we are showing we are relatable, that we understand where they are coming from, and that we, like them, always have room to grow.
It demonstrates resilience.
The people who are under our charge are far from perfect. Guess what, SO ARE WE! Sure, we may do certain things pretty close to perfect. We may have unique skills and talents, but we are human and will always make mistakes. Saying “I’m Sorry” allows us to recognize where we have shortcomings, but more importantly, allows us an opportunity to bounce back from our mistakes. The best leaders want their teams to grow. They recognize the need to error from time to time, but to also bounce back.
It demonstrates commitment.
True leadership is relationship focused. Members of any organization need to feel as they are valued, appreciated, and supported. With so many opportunities available to the workforce today, staying with an organization for a long duration is no longer the only option. In other words, if an employee comes to the conclusion that the organization’s leadership is toxic, there’s a good chance they’ll seek employment elsewhere. If leadership treats employees more like numbers, with little regard to the impact of their words or actions, they can expect their numbers to drop. However, offering a sincere apology for your misguided deeds demonstrates a commitment to the individual and provides them more reason to stick around and recommit to you and the organization.
Hopefully by now, you’re starting to appreciate some benefits that come from personal accountability. When done correctly, owning up to our mistakes can revive our focus—we no longer have that monkey on our back. When done correctly, owning up to our mistakes can mend a fractured relationship—we can now speak openly about the way forward. These are possible, but only if we say I’m Sorry correctly.
Our I’m Sorry moment should be authentic. We shouldn’t just offer lip service to it, we should have a genuine desire to do better, and rebuild.
Our I’m Sorry moment should offer solutions and a promise for the way ahead. The words in themselves become useless if they aren’t followed up with action that validates them.
Our I’m Sorry moment should be appropriately timed. If not offered soon enough, we run the risk of increasing the space between ourselves and those we lead. The trickle-down effect that comes from our mistakes may get to a point of irreversibility if we wait too long.
The truth of the matter is this; the words I’m Sorry may be the hardest to say, and in doing so, we force ourselves to examine our imperfections. But, building the courage to utter these words also offers great possibilities that would otherwise never be realized.
